Episode 72: How to Find and Keep Fulfilling Friendships with Friendship Coach Danielle Bayard Jackson
Do you wonder how to make friends as an adult or how to find (and keep!) fulfilling friendships? Maybe you're struggling with being in a different life stage as your friends or don't feel fulfilled by your social life? This week's episode is with Danielle Bayard Jackson, a certified female friendship coach, educator, and friendship expert for Bumble For Friends. Her friendship expertise has been featured in The Oprah Magazine, The New York Times, and The Washington Post. Josie grills Danielle for all her best tips for fostering fulfilling friendships, such as how to turn any acquaintance into a best friend and how to approach conflict (spoiler: conflict is actually a good thing!). She also shares mind-blowing research on why female friendships are necessary for your mental and physical health, how many friends you need, and why we need different types of friendships for ultimate fulfillment. Cue "Wannabe" by Spice Girls, because Danielle will teach you how to have friendship that never ends.
SHOW NOTES:
This week on The Everygirl Podcast, we’re honing in on one of our most asked-about topics: friendship. To keep with the theme of the episode, in this week’s Ask The Everygirl segment, Josie answers a listener's question about how to stay connected with friends during different adult stages. Josie and Emma discuss some of Danielle’s tips for maintaining and making friendships that she highlighted in the episode, and Emma shares some of the lessons she’s learned so far about making friends in a brand-new city. Josie and Emma also talk about the value of female friendships, and why being a girl’s girl is so important to feeling supported and fulfilled in adult friendships. Then, it’s onto the interview with Danielle. Josie begins by asking Danielle how she got into the world of friendship coaching, and Danielle explains what it was like to realize that many of the dynamics she saw playing out among students as a high school teacher are actually present in real life. Josie asks Danielle why so many people struggle with adult friendships, and Danielle explains the stigma that has existed about talking about the difficulties of connecting with other adults. She shares some statistics about how the loneliness epidemic has expanded in the past few years, and how our social circles tend to grow exponentially until about the age of 26, when they start to shrink rapidly. Danielle explains why it is so important to be intentional and strategic about making friends and keeping people in your life. Josie asks Danielle to explain why female friendship specifically is important, and Danielle discusses how crucial it is for women to connect with one another, especially in the face of a society that often pits them against each other. She also discusses how it’s never too late to make a new connection and make those super-close friendships that we all want and need in our lives. Then, Josie asks Danielle for some super tangible tips for making and keeping friends as an adult, and Danielle delivers: She gives several suggestions for meeting new people, leveraging the connections you already have, and making time in your life for friendships. Josie and Danielle also discuss how important it is to have different friends for different things, rather than relying on one person to be our best friend for every little thing. Finally, Josie asks Danielle to talk about a subject she is an expert on: conflict in female friendships. Danielle talks about how conflict is actually a good thing, and how to go about having difficult conversations with friends in a healthy, productive way. She gives tangible conversation starters and mindset reframes that can allow you to approach friendship conflict without fear. The episode closes with rapid-fire questions for Danielle.
Must-Listen Moments:
[0:41] Ask The Everygirl: Many of my friends are getting married and having kids, but I'm still living my independent single life. How do I deal with having a different mindset than my friends?
[20:33] Why do so many women struggle with making friends in adulthood, and why are female friendships important?
[37:47] Danielle’s top tips for making meaningful connections as an adult, from leveraging your current network to becoming a regular somewhere
[45:07] Why it is crucial to have different friends for different things, instead of pouring all of our energy into one single friendship
[48:15] Danielle shares her expertise on conflict in female friendships: Why it’s important, how to handle it, and when to recognize toxicity in friendships
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