Episode 88: Rules for Flirting, Dating, and Finding Yourself With Eli Rallo
Described as "Gen Z's Carrie Bradshaw" by the TODAY Show and New York Post, Eli Rallo rose to fame as a social media star sharing her experience with and advice on dating, love, sex, and finding yourself. Eli is the author of the book, I Didn't Know I Needed This: The New Rules for Flirting, Feeling, and Finding Yourself, and has a TedTalk and viral TikTok page under her belt. In today's episode, Josie and Eli chat about all things love, loss, flirting, and finding yourself: how women can feel more empowered in their sexualities, the key to a successful relationship, and Eli's rules to become an expert at dating. Whether you're in an LTR, dating, happily single, or just looking to find yourself, Eli has tips for you.
Read I Didn’t Know I Needed This here.
SHOW NOTES:
For this week’s Ask The Everygirl, Emma and Josie address a couple of listener questions about how to flirt and approach guys and gals out in the wild. Josie explains how important confidence is in these situations, and Emma reveals how she once got a guy to approach her in a bar simply by making sustained eye contact with him. The interview with author and TikTok star Eli Rallo begins with Josie asking Eli how she originally became interested in writing about sex, relationships, and dating. Eli explains how her background in the theater made her especially attuned to the emotions of other people, and the empathy she developed through her theater classes. She discusses how her book I Didn’t Know I Needed This came about, including the moments of rejection in her life that transformed her life later on. Josie asks Eli why it’s so important for us to be talking openly about sex, dating, and relationships. Eli explains why she thinks so many young women are comfortable sharing their sexual and dating experiences online, and how empowering that can be for creators and consumers alike. She discusses the impact of extremely heteronormative expectations and discussions of sexuality in the early 2000s shaped our generations’ ideas about sex, and the stigmas that need to be broken down in the future. Josie and Eli have a conversation about unlearning internalized shame and empowering other young women to do the same. Eli discusses the cultural impact that Call Her Daddy had on conversations about sex on the internet. She also explains how feminist theory impacted her perspective on female empowerment and what it means to take control of your narrative as a woman. Josie and Eli also talk about the historical aspect of unlearning expectations about sex and sexuality, especially as women, and the pop culture pressures that come into play as well. Josie then pivots the conversation to Eli’s viral “rules” lists, and why she started sharing those lists online. Josie and Eli also discuss their perspective on dating now, several years into committed relationships. They have a conversation about why it’s crucial to meet your own expectations and disappoint everyone else. Eli shares her tactic for dating as if you are going to meet your soulmate one year from today. Then, Eli shares some of her more viral tips for dating, including preparing for a first date like an athlete and having an “eff me sweater.” The episode closes with some rapid fire questions for Eli.
Must-Listen Moments:
[05:20] Ask The Everygirl: Dating Tips for Single Gals
[09:26] The Role of Rejection in Personal Growth
[15:41] The Importance of Open Conversations about Sex and Relationships
[27:44] Discovering the Power of Female Sexuality
[30:17] The Role of Feminist Theory in Understanding Sexuality
[32:00] The Impact of Cultural Beliefs on Personal Sexuality
[40:45] The Art of Flirting and Building Confidence
[49:36] Understanding When a Relationship Isn't Serving You
[52:57] Being Your Own Friend and Showing Up for Yourself
[55:45] Wrapping Up: The Power of Self-Love and Authenticity
More from The Everygirl:
Find and listen to more episodes at https://theeverygirl.com/