Episode 91: Unlocking Our Pleasure Potential With Somatic Sex Educator, Kiana Reeves
Everyone always wants to know: How can I have better sex? Today, we’re answering that question. Kiana Reeves is a leading voice in the sexual wellness movement, with an impressive resume that includes somatic sex educator, doula, intimacy & relationship coach, and the chief education officer at Foria. In today's episode, Kiana shares how becoming a (single) mother affected her sexuality and sense of self and why solo sex is key to better sex with a partner. She also shares tips for living more erotically, why we're all dealing with internalized slut shaming, and rituals, foods, and supplements to take for more pleasure.
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SHOW NOTES:
On this week’s Ask The Everygirl, Josie and Emma address a listener’s question about waiting for her boyfriend of many years to propose. Josie walks through the nuances of waiting for an engagement period and discusses certain possible outcomes and ways to approach the situation. The interview with somatic sex educator and intimacy coach Kiana Reeves begins with Josie asking Kiana how she first became interested in helping people with their sex lives. Kiana explains how her sexuality changed when she became a mother, and the shifts in her body that inspired her to pursue this line of work. Josie and Kiana discuss how Kiana’s body changed after pregnancy and birth, and how that change impacted her sexuality. They also talk about how women are trained to ignore their body’s cues in favor of productivity and step out of their natural flow to appease the patriarchy. Josie points out how women are forced to ignore our true feelings about our sexualities, and Kiana dives into the difference between responsive desire and spontaneous desire. Josie and Kiana have a conversation about how pop culture has shaped our perceptions of female sexuality, especially when it comes to foreplay and libido. Kiana explains the problem with the predominantly heterosexual, penetrative sex model that is presented in more American television and movies. Then, the conversation turns to slut shaming, and how each of us internalize the “archetype” of the slut. Kiana reveals how connecting with our inner slut can improve our sex lives and our relationships with our bodies. The conversation then pivots to sexual wellness more broadly, including Kiana’s work with Foria. Josie and Kiana talk about how connecting with your biology can improve your libido and overall sex life. Kiana discusses how important it is to cultivate a sex life with yourself—instead of just with a partner—in order to connect with what you want and need. Josie and Kiana explicitly discuss the taboo that exists around masturbation and sexual self-care, including the historical precedents that have caused this phenomenon. Then, the two dive into some of Kiana’s best relationship tips, including her thoughts on taking time and space away from your partner. She and Josie also do some breathwork that Kiana explains is crucial for connecting to your body sexually. The two also run through supplements that can help with libido, from zinc to cacao. The episode closes with some rapid-fire questions for Kiana.
Must-Listen Moments:
[04:41] Ask the Everygirl: Advice on Waiting for Engagement
[31:01] Kiana's Journey to Sexual Wellness Advocacy
[34:43] Impact of Pregnancy and Childbirth on Sexuality
[35:45] Understanding Spontaneous and Responsive Desires
[41:05] The Impact of Pop Culture on Sexuality
[43:56] Exploring the Concept of 'Slut' as an Archetype
[48:51] Sexual Wellness and Health Benefits of Sex
[01:03:14] Herbs, Supplements, and Foods for Sexual Health
More from The Everygirl:
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