Episode 30: Upgrade Your Sex Life, Have More Orgasms, and Find Your Sexual Power with Sex Therapist Dr. Holly Richmond
Wish you had a better sex life, more orgasms, or steamier intimacy in your LTR? Dealing with shame around sex or body insecurities that hold you back in the bedroom? It seems like everybody wants to have better sex but are not sure how to get there. Enter: Dr. Holly Richmond. Dr. Holly is a leading somatic psychologist, certified sex therapist, and licensed marriage & family therapist. She is known as the leading sex therapist in North America, counting Hollywood's elite as her clientele. Josie grills Dr. Holly for all of her tips on feeling sexually empowered, as well as having better sex and more orgasms. They also discuss how to have conversations with your partner around intimacy, why there's so much shame and discomfort around sexuality for women, and the true root of the "orgasm gap" or why women are having less orgasms. Lastly, Josie and Dr. Holly talk about the concept of virginity, ethical porn, and how sex is portrayed in the media. Make sure to tune in–this episode is juicy.
SHOW NOTES:
In honor of Valentine’s Day coming up, this week’s episode of The Everygirl Podcast is all about sex — from libido to stigmas and more. Featuring certified sex therapist Dr. Holly Richmond, the episode begins with a conversation about why we feel so much shame when it comes to talking about out sexuality. Dr. Richmond explains how our sex education and early childhood experiences with discussing sex and sexuality can impact the way we view sex as adults. Josie and Dr. Richmond discuss how we are frequently taught about the anatomy of sex without any conversations about pleasure, and how a collective mindset shift to seeing libido as a vital sign is incredibly necessary in our culture. Josie then asks Dr. Richmond about the component of body image: how can societal pressures to look a certain way factor into our sexual identities? Dr. Richmond takes a deep dive into the self-pleasure protocol that she recommends for everyone, explaining how masturbation and connecting with our own erotic being can be an important part of self-care. Josie and Dr. Richmond talk about principles for a healthy relationship that can help to build a great sex life between two people, from affirmations to open communication. The two also discuss some of the stigmas and mental hang-ups that we carry with us into our relationships because of social pressures and binary thinking. Josie asks Dr. Richmond to speak on her perspective on pornography, and Dr. Richmond provides advice and recommendations for finding ethical, empowering porn. The episode then turns to the female orgasm and some of the basics of sex education, and Dr. Richmond dispels some of the myths surrounding several of our definitions of things related to sex. Josie asks Dr. Richmond if she has any tips for people who are struggling with low libido; the two discuss the orgasm gap and what we need to do as a society in order to close that gap. The conversation wraps up on the subject of pleasure, and the questions we need to ask ourselves in order to lean into the pleasurable parts of our lives. Josie then asks Dr. Richmond a few questions submitted by the audience, and the episode closes with some rapid-fire questions.
Check out these resources recommended by Dr. Holly:
Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life by Holly Richmond
Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz
Come As You Are by Emily Nagasaki
Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller
Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It by Cyndi Darnell
She Comes First by Ian Kerner
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Must-Listen Moments:
[7:14] How do body image and societal expectations about appearance impact our sex lives?
[10:12] The benefits of a sexual self-care practice, and how to create a self-pleasure routine
[24:51] Dr. Richmond’s thoughts on pornography, plus how to find ethical, empowering porn
[34:36] All about libido: what are some practical, everyday solutions to low libido?
[47:57] Dr. Holly answers audience questions on everything from desire discrepancy to myths about first sexual experiences
More from The Everygirl:
Find and listen to more episodes at https://theeverygirl.com/